Patience
by novice-otaku3
Summary: Months After the Hime Carnival, Natsuki starts dating Takeda and Shizuru leaves and starts all over. Will she finally be rid of her feelings for the blunette? Or will her unwavering patience pay off... Shiznat! (*Tweeked* current direction, just to clear up confusion)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Well hello again! :) Just another idea I got spur of the moment. Heads up, this story might be less humorous and more feely (deep). **

**But I hope you like! DROP A REVIEW OR 100 PLEASE :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mai-Hime...or a theme park hehe.**

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><p>"Natsuki! C'mon let's take a picture together!" The boy waved at the blunette from the small photo booth by the restrooms. Natsuki was standing by the burger stand waiting for her order and idly chatting with her long time best friend Shizuru Fujino. The three of them had decided to spend the day at the Fuuka Waterland theme park, and the blunette was secretly excited to see her best friend so…*ah-hem* out of her element so to speak.<p>

"Mou, Takeda not now. Anyways, that's when I told Mai to sing it herself and I threw the-"

The spikey haired boy came out and tugged on Natsuki's arm persistently. "Oh pleeease? Just one? I promised my parents I'd get a picture of you and I together!" He pleaded.

The blunette huffed in aggravation. "Fine. But this is the last time you get to use this excuse! And don't pull on my arm-!" That was all she could say before being nearly flung into the booth, shooting an apologetic smile to Shizuru before the black curtain was slid shut.

Shizuru sat down on a nearby bench under the shade. Practically having to yank her façade smile from her flawless face. It had been there for so long, she had grown slowly accustomed to the routine. Just smile and stay quiet, smile and nod, smile smile smile. _But I am used to it. I decided to accept Natsuki's decision to remain friends and I am sticking to it. I am just glad she chose to forgive me and keep me in her life after breaking the trust between us…this is merely the price I have to pay_.

Takeda and Natsuki had started dating about five months after the Hime Carnival. He had apparently not known a thing about any of it until he accidently coaxed it out of Reito. At first it was all so unbelievable, but one and one started to add up here and there until he worked up the nerve to ask if it was true. And guess who he asked.. _Maybe that was my first mistake, telling that boy the truth about everything. Though I saw no harm in the situation at the time, it proved to be the cause of the greatest loss I ever_ _had experienced_. Natsuki had been torn between the two for a long time even before the battles of fate.

But in the end she had decided that she needed a few days to think. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. All the while the brunette kept around waiting patiently, allowing her love the time to settle into her feelings. Unfortunately, she had waited too long and soon the news of Natsuki and Takeda traveled to the university. She was devastated. Didn't show to school for weeks on end. Not even her parents could get ahold of her, or her whereabouts, but when she came back she was the same old smiling patient, teasing Shizuru, so nobody gave it a second thought when she showed up to Mai's many karaoke parties. The blunette had looked so happy, relieved and hysterical with the tears flowing down her cheeks as she flung from the couch (clad in a maid costume) and bear hugged her friend.

Shizuru let out a soft chuckle at the memory of that night she returned. Natsuki had clung to her the entire night, and to the crimson eyed brunette's surprise, had even invited her to stay at her and Mai's (and Mikoto's) dorm for the night. _If only I did…maybe I would be in there with her now. Maybe he would be the one out on a bench. Alone. Full of regret. Natsuki…_

Just as the pitiful expression approached her face she snapped back to reality. This was not the place, or time to _feel_. Right now she needed to keep it together in case she was caught off guard. She looked up and her eyes were instantly drawn to the cobalt haired girl in a dark blue bikini standing worriedly in front of her puzzled._ Like now_.

"Sh-Shizuru? Are you okay? You look a little…depressed." Natsuki said as she bent over and touched her hand to the brunette's forehead. Her cleavage easily spotted peeking or more like glaring through the angle she was positioned in. Shizuru tried…she really did. But hey..that's just who she is… *Smirk*

"Ara I am fine but if Natsuki wants to give me a little nursing, then I certainly will not try to stop her." She watched Natsuki's face pop into blood reddened blush, as she slid her hand off of her forehead and took a playfully cautious step back.

"B-Baka.." she whispered and averted her eyes up towards the sky dive waterslide to banish the coloring from her cheeks. In the past had Shizuru said what she just did, the Natsuki she used to know would have jumped back and squeaked above her normal husky voice a few octaves. The girl had matured exceedingly since those old times…very nicely. Although, she slightly missed her little puppy's young restless body, widely-parted blue locks and her adorable way of indifference and independence, Shizuru had to admit she ADORED the new Natsuki. The tall confident dominant manner she addressed people, her curvy athletic body and toned two pack, her now blue(ish) black(ish) hair pulled into a silver pin showing elegance and beauty that just practically screamed _adult_ mentality.

The brunette's revere of adoration was cut short as Takeda came back from gazing and blushing at the picture the couple had taken inside the booth. "Babe lets go ride that next!" He pointed excitedly at the Flood house roller coaster. They all walked over to the long line ahead, and chatted till they reached the front of the line. As they were up next, Shizuru felt the unease in the air as Natsuki saw the 'two to a car only' sign underneath the Motion sickness warning. *_sigh* here we go again_..

"Shizuru…I had no idea..I-" Natsuki looked down and looked utterly ashamed of herself.

_I know_. " Shh, it's okay Natsuki, I was feeling a little ill anyways so I think I'll sit this one out and grab something to drink." She lied with her façade, and tried her best not to notice the smirk on Takeda's face as the ride pulled up.

"But Shizuru I- No we'll just ride something else. Something that we can ALL ride!" The blunette said as she shot a death glare at her boyfriend.

"NEXT UP!" The operator yelled aloud after unhooking the rope and opening the gate.

"C'mon babe, She'll be okay right Kaichou- I mean- Fujino-san? It'll only take a minute or two." Takeda grabbed on Natsuki's hand and stomped through the crowd blocking her escape and avoiding an answer from either woman.

Shizuru sighed and stepped out of line and off to a volcano blast vender looking for something to melt away the hate brewing in her stomach, thinking of her Natsuki in the arms of that…un-evolved gorilla. Eventually deciding on scalding Jasmine tea, she took her cup and luckily found another shady spot, this time under a fake palm tree.

After a few sips she came to the conclusion that they had opted to ride a second time. She stood, threw away her half full Styrofoam cup, and decided to leave. _I'll make up an excuse for leaving when she asks…or rather IF she asks_. The brunette made her way to her locker in the changing area and put her clothes back on over her red bikini. Grabbing her purse and keys, she headed out of the waterpark glancing once more behind her in time to see Natsuki standing right there panting heavily as if she'd been running.

"Hey! There you are, I've been looking for you all…" the younger girl stopped talking and took in the fully dressed, dried off brunette. "You're leaving?"

_To get out of the way of your date_.. "Yes." Shizuru answered.

"Why.." Natsuki asked with an expressionless face.

"I had received a call from my friend, asking me to do them an urgent favor."

"Oh your friend huh, I thought I was your best friend." The blunette joked trying to lighten the obvious tension in the moment, but Shizuru was not fooled. _So she knows I'm lying…_

The ex Hime walked gracefully up to her damp companion, and leaned in close so that the background ride noises would not be a distraction.

"After all of this time, Natsuki above all others should know…you have never been _just a friend_." She softly pecked the blunette's cheek, and walked away leaving Natsuki to watch her retreating form.

The blunette drifted her gaze down to the concrete as Shizuru could no longer be seen through the swarms of midday thrill seekers.

"I know.." she whispered.

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><p><strong>Okay! Please do not flame! Flames burn...and nobody likes burnt teriyaki! ...Unless it's still edible..<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Okay I tried not to kill you guys with sadness in this chap...let me know if you thought otherwise and I'll try to get Shizuru to pay you a visit and apologize.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mai-Hime ...still... ToT**

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><p>She opened the door to her dorm room and groaned as it shut behind her. Her protective mask falling off of her face as she made her way to her bed and dropped off her bag.<p>

_Tea first, tea then *sigh* everything else_.

It had been about a week since the day at the waterpark, and also a week since she got a call from Natsuki. _She hasn't called me… Why? Was it the kiss? Did I scare her? I won't do it again… Natsuki I promise just…just call me, I need to hear your voice. No. Maybe she is just busy, after all it was only a peck..on the cheek! Of all places…if only I..I'll just call her then_. Shizuru picked out her phone from her bag knocking an advanced trig book out in the process. Ignoring the book, she activated her phone and scrolled her list of contacts until she came to Natsuki's number. The brunette traced her finger across the name a bit before walking over to a little teapot she had on a hotplate burner. _I won't call. She hasn't called me which means she's either very busy..or hasn't even thought about it. Am I really this affected by her?_

Right at that moment her phone began to vibrate indicating that she had a call. The brunette placed the teabag in the pot and switched on the burner before glancing at the caller I.D. She almost jumped at the name. _I didn't expect this_.. she thought as she accepted the call.

"Hello? Fujino-san? How are you? I haven't seen you in a while!"

"Ara, hello Tokiha-san I am well. How have you been?" she replied politely.

"Oh I'm great! In fact, Mikoto and I are about to meet up with Reito-san and have dinner and a movie."

"Just the three of you? Natsuki's not going?" _Is she with her boyfriend_?

"Ugggh, no she's being a lump again. Actually that's why I called you. Can you babysit the bum for me? I offered to drag her out with us but you know her stubborn self… please Fujino-san? It shouldn't take long and I know that you have studies, but if anyone can cheer her up it's you."

Shizuru didn't wait a second to think about her studies as she answered. "Of course Mai-san."

"Thank you so much Fujino-san! I'll tell-" Mai was interrupted mid-sentence.

"Maiiiii! Where's the mayo?" A husky voice growled through the other end of the phone, the brunette could automatically know it was her. _Natsuki_.

"Who knows…hehehe.."

"OH you BETTER not have thrown away my third supply stock! Get over here!" Thud noises and loud bangs were heard from the other end as the crimson eyed woman chuckled to herself for this prize teasing material.

"N-Natsuki! Stop chasing me I'm on the phone! S-STOP IT!" Mai struggled.

"Grrr…Fine but as soon as you hang up, it's on! Who are you talking to anyways? Your boyyyfriend?" Natsuki teased. Shizuru kept silent as she poured a cup of hot green tea into a cup and sat on her queen sized bed.

"Hmm, actually it's a girl…so.." Mai added playfully. The brunette could almost see the kind of expression on the biker's face right now.

"O-Oh um, w-what, you know, uh what's her name then?" _There's a blush I wish I could see_. She knew Natsuki had matured, yes, but she figured the whole same gender thing hit home for Natsuki and herself from what they had together…or _almost_ had. The smile slowly edged off of her face returning her to regretting and hating her own judgments. _Is Natsuki just not the same as me?_

The thought was broken thankfully by the reply on the other end.

"Hehehe its Fujino-san." A crack of laughter caused the brunette to remove the phone from her ears and put the device on speaker.

"Gimme the pho-..no MAI! Give it! GIVE ME THE PHONE YOU BUSYBODY DANG!..*ah-hem* S-Shizuru? You there?"

Shizuru picked the phone back up and turned off speaker to answer. "Hello Natsuki." She said with a smile, although the blunette couldn't see it.

"Hey. A-Are you still mad about the park? Because if so I am so sorry.." _Silence_. "Takeda and I have been thinking about it and lately we have missed you being around with us. I was going to call you right after he took me home, but he wanted to hang out so I guess I lost track of time…you know?"

_The unspoken question being you know what it's like when you are with your boyfriend_? Shizuru placed her cup down on a small dresser by her bed and laid down on her back. The long silence made the blunette kind of nervous as Shizuru heard the girl clear her throat awkwardly for the past 20 seconds.

"A-anyways, Takeda had some work come up so he can't keep me company tonight while everyone's out…wanna come over?" Natsuki asked with an ounce of uncertainty in her voice.

Shizuru closed her eyes and fought back a thought about being second place to Natsuki's boyfriend and uttered a quiet yes. With that she hung up the phone, no longer able to handle the sounds of the other girl whose natural breathing caused a quake in her heart. Shizuru grabbed her keys and left to the parking lot.

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><p>While pulling up at the Fuuka dorms, somewhere on the inside she was happy about seeing her friend. But Shizuru had this strange queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. At first she thought it might had been the tea on an empty stomach idea, but that was only to distract from the intuition that something unpleasant was going to happen... brunette knocked softly on the door and waited a couple of minutes. No answer. Was she too late? Did Natsuki end up going after all? She gave a shrug and after another unanswered advance decided to leave. Just as she turned, she heard a bang from behind the door followed by a loud curse, then the door swung wide open revealing Natsuki clad in a white and red 'lifeguard' hoodie, powdered blue jean shorts, and long blue locks in a lazy low ponytail. Even at the laid-back appearance of her desire, Shizuru could not stop an electric excitement from rushing through her chest. She stood there quietly studying the blunette in admiration noticing that a few strands of hair were hanging chastely by her cheek. She swallowed and took a few deep breaths to stop her already raging hormones.<p>

"You...planning on coming in or just standing there staring?" Natsuki teased.

_Ara.. she's gotten to be quite perceptive. I'm sure my mask was fully in place this whole time_. Without a word she entered the moderately sized dorm and grabbed a seat on the love seat with Natsuki settling next to her. _How ironically named_.. Shizuru chided in a sad humor. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before the brunette decided to spark up some healthy conversation. It was either that or be tormented by the biker girl's interesting choice of sitting posture. Her right leg was resting on top of the sofa, while her other dragged lazily from one side of the carpeting to another owning the blunette's own undivided attention.

Shizuru blinked and turned her etiquette to charming. "So, how has Natsuki been these past few days?"

The blunette laughed happily. The sound was heaven to Shizuru's ears. It was echoed in the empty space with a low husky tone and was laced with a gleeful spur. The brunette smiled a true smile reserved only for the people closest to her. _I'll never tire of that sound_.

"Mou Shizuru, you always ask that! Makes me remember that time I went on that class trip to Hokkaido." She said in a wide grin. It was true, the brunette smiled as she drifted off into a memory.

**FLASHBACK**:

"Mmmf! S-Shizuru!" The blunette squirmed in the warm embrace of the older woman blushing to an entire new shade at what was happening.

"Yes Na-tsu-ki?" A low Kyoto-ben dragged through Natsuki's ears as she felt warm smooth skin rub against her.

"P-Please..."

"Yes?" Shizuru teased, knowing full well what she wanted.

"Can you let go already!?" Natsuki whipped out of the warm hug, much to Shizuru's displeasure, and turned to face her with a gigantic blush on her cheeks.

_Kawaii! *sigh* Natsuki you just love torturing me don't you_? Squealed the brunette inside her head. "Ara, I was just giving Natsuki a hug goodbye, is that not okay with her?"

"Don't act all innocent! A hug is okay! Groping and...breathing on my ear…i-is not…Shizuru what are you doing?" The blunette asked as the Kaichou as she lifted the earmuffs she had just received mid-sentence. _As I thought, this was the right color_. The biker gave her an unamused glare, and finally relented to an eye-roll, removing the muffs and sliding them down her neck like headphones.

"I just thought since the weather might be a little chilly."

"It's going to be 98 degrees! I'm not wearing these! *grumble grumble* trying to kill me *grumble*"

"Natsuki should have something to remember me by when she goes away. I wouldn't want her to forget her best friend.." Shizuru said in a mock weak tone. She could've sworn she heard a small whimper before a loud growl burst through the 'almost victory fakeout.'

"I'm going on a class trip to Hokkaido, not moving to Canada!" She grunted and shoved her hands in her pockets on the way out of the student council room. _3…2…1_…

"Please Natsuki?" Shizuru pleaded right before the door closed. She chuckled as she heard a loud grumble and her name thrown in a couple times after the door shut, and quietly headed back to her desk.

**FLASHBACK END.**

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><p>Shizuru had been so miserable during those two days of Natsuki's absence she was tempted to stay from school. That would be very un-fujino-like… <em>not to mention<em>..The brunette was brought out of her haze of reminiscence as Natsuki finished talking. "You had pounced on me as soon as I walked in the door. Then out of nowhere you sit down and ask me how I've been these past few days."

It was true, _I lost control and had to restrain by my default_. She had been surprised that the blunette came to her directly, normally she'd have to seek her out and catch her attention. _I should apologize. Back then I had not respected Natsuki's space and could not hold myself back which later resulted in a lot of mistakes I wish I could take back_…

"I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable before, I just-" Shizuru felt her body tense and shudder as she felt Natsuki rush in and engulf her into a warm embrace pulling her friend as close as she could.

"Now we're even." She whispered. Shizuru's eyes shut tightly. *_Deep breath_*

_Natsuki…don't. I can't take anything that will build up my hopes. Don't hug me like you've missed me. Don't hug me like you've been thinking about me. Don't hug me like you love me the same way I love you…because I know all it takes is one time. Even as I say this now, I already know the other side of me that took so long to bury, has been awakened._ Shaky hands made their way up to Natsuki's back and began stroking up and down slowly. Natsuki smiled and hummed in approval, thinking her friend was finally loosening up a bit. The hands slid underneath the hoodie and made contact with a thin tank-top.

Natsuki's eyes snapped open and she released her tight grip on her red-eyed friend's body and pulled out of the hug causing the hands to pull away from under her hoodie. "Shizuru? Are you okay? You seemed a little off when you came in..but now you just seem..I don't know. Sad?"

The brunette said nothing, she just kept unwavering eye contact with the object of her desires. Nobody knew of the silent battles going on in her mind at that point, but it was enough to cause a falter in her perfectly designed mask of diplomacy. Natsuki placed a hand on her friend's cheek. "Shizuru. You can talk to me. I'm here, always."

The rapid clouding in her eyes finally burst and released streams of salty tears trickling down her face._ She's going to hate me. You promised. Friends…friends…she has Takeda…you are not needed. You are not wanted. You will only ruin everything you have tried to prove since the Carnival…self-control self- control_.

_Kiss_. Shizuru felt soft lips on her cheek. Slowly coming to her delayed reaction she allowed herself to open her eyes. What she saw tore her heart to pieces.._again_. The look on her face was the same as it had been when Natsuki first kissed her at the carnival. Saving her from herself. Back the the only thoughts that came to Shizuru's head was shock. Shock and hope. But now, after all this time, receiving the same kiss..she _clicked_. Giving in entirely to her core goal. _Make Natsuki mine_. "Kannin na…"

The last words uttered by the ex-kaichou before she kissed back. On the lips.

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><p><strong>AN- later guys! :D**

(Oh ill update Bet soon)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mai hime.**

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><p>The blunette jerked as soon as lips made contact with her own. Shizuru felt the twitch and immediately regretted her decision, but did not stop. Strangely, no move was made to halt the kiss any further, like she had expected. Shizuru snapped herself out of the daze of her fear and gently moved her lips, slowly opening and closing again. Still nothing. It's not as if she expected it to be returned, in fact she knew she was destroying a close friendship with the most important person in her life, and the thought that this was what she'd always dreamed of accomplishing made her feel a little unsure.<p>

_It's too late to turn back now…my road has been chosen. Natsuki….I need you_.

Natsuki seemed to come back to her senses enough to register that this kiss was lingering a little long, and put her hands to the brunette's shoulders to push her away.

_No._

"Mmph! S-Shi-mmmph!" The blunette struggled to speak as she now had to grip her friend's shoulders harshly, using much more strength than she ever intended on using with Shizuru. Still the brunette would not let up. It wasn't until the brunette felt something wet drip along her cheek disturbing her from her goal and snapping her out of her intensity. _What was that_? Shizuru drew back and opened her eyes, catching the tear still sliding slowly down her friend's face. _Natsuki_!

"Natsuki, I'm so sor-" was all she said before a sharp pain ached onto her left cheek.

_Slapped._

"How could you…" Natsuki said with a quivery low voice. The brunette wanted so bad to reach out to hold her friend and apologize, but all she could manage was to cup her own injured cheek and observe her friend. Natsuki looked broken. Hands shaking, head faced downwards, endless tears streaming down her face.

"N-Natsuki.." She could no longer mask the pain from her voice as she finally caught the strength to reach out. " I'm so sorry! I didn't m-mean to make you upset I-" I'm so sorry…please don't hate me Natsuki. The blunette violently slapped away the incoming hand from coming any closer.

"Why?!" She stood and yelled in question, tears bursting silently. "Why do you always do this? Every time I think everything's going fine…everything's..normal. Why Shizuru!? Why can't you just be like normal best friends?!"

The word _normal_ stabbed at her heart more than a weapon ever could. She could barely think let alone reply to her friend's comment, all she did was close her eyes as she felt pressure well up behind her eyelids. The closing came a bit too late, two streams poured out like hot rain staining cheeks and leaving a seemingly permanent mark of weakness.

"…I'll go." Shizuru rose from her sitting position. The last thing she wanted to do was sit there and cry in front of Natsuki. _Strength, just as soon as this is over…I c-can..just_ _wait._

Natsuki turned looking at her friend in surprise..or was that fear? "I'm..I-I didn't mean it that way. It came out different…" She fiddled with her hands a bit.

_Deep breath turn._

"Ara so Natsuki does not want a normal friendship with me? Then I wonder what kind of relationship it is that she wants.." Shizuru forced a small playful smile and looked around toned eyebrows desperately avoiding eye contact.

"Don't. Don't do that." Natsuki glared.

"Ara, do what?"

"Don't hide behind your accent and vocabulary and try to change this into something it's not! For once, be all the way serious with me. No teasing, no playing, no jokes, no façade!"

Shizuru chuckled darkly, a bit of it showing on her face as she dropped her mask a little. "Are you sure you want this?" _Because once I start there's no going back to being any kinds of normal._

Natsuki met crimson with blazing emeralds showing seriousness and intensity. "I want the truth." The brunette sat and patted the seat next to her, Natsuki sat and took a short breath.

"Then ask." _I'm done hiding_.

"…Why did you really leave that day at the waterpark?"

_Simple_. "I didn't want to be there anymore."

"Was it something I said or did?" She asked.

"You already know the answer to that I'm sure."

"I want to hear it coming from you." Natsuki turned her body on the couch and stared deeply at the brunette next to her.

Shizuru bit her lip slightly contemplating whether or not to tell her._ I despise Takeda, I love you, I want to be the one that gets you all to myself…and so much more. I want_- "You.." She didn't have to say it all, it was written in her eyes. Natsuki let her back fall back onto the couch.

After a long pause with no words uttered between the two Natsuki sighed and raised again.

"Shizuru…" _Here it comes. I knew I'd ruin our little truce of peace and ignorance sooner or later. I can never hide my feelings for you for long Natsuki…and the only way you can be rid of me is to stop silently stringing me along and tell me flat out…so that I can try to move on…_ The very thought of not having Natsuki around, not seeing her, forever, made the brunette feel physically as well as emotionally ill.

"Shiz…I-I can't be with you. I need us to be friends. Please, I don't want to lose you…" Natsuki spoke in a quiet but sure voice. _What is she saying_?

"Natsuki, I don't think I can do that." Shizuru spoke honestly.

"Please understand Takeda and I-"

The brunette's head snapped up and her eyes glared furiously at the mention of the dumb idiot. "I can't just hang around and watch you and your _BOYFRIEND_ doing this and that and who knows what els-"

"THAT'S WHAT_ FRIENDS_ DO!" Natsuki fired back. This had to be the thousandth time we've fought about this. _I really hate fighting with her about anything but…when it comes to him I can't seem to keep my composure._

"Well I guess I'm not your friend!" _What am I saying_?

"Then what are you Shizuru? What are you really? Because I'm starting to wonder." Natsuki balled her fists and looked deep into blazing crimson, obviously hurt by the last heated comment.

Shizuru however was shocked at how serious this was becoming. All of her calm thrown away when Natsuki asked what she was. _What does she mean she's starting to wonder? How long has she been categorizing our relationship anyways?!_ The brunette took a step back and stared at the door considering walking out. _No, I have to say this_.

"I can't do this anymore Natsuki. This little game of ours…so tell me what are we going to do about this? I know you feel something for me, Takeda or not.." She said while stepping forward.

A light scowl crossed her face as she watched Natsuki take a step back. "Do you even love him?" She snapped.

Natsuki shot up. "Of course I do! How would _YOU_ know?!"

"If you can't see how much pain I'm in right now being in love with you how can you love somebody else the same?!" Shizuru took a deep breath._ I'm tired of yelling at you Natsuki I can't talk if you don't open up and listen._

"I DON'T KNOW. I don't know…I'm so confused!" Natsuki began pacing around the couch. "Its like one minute I'm with Takeda laughing and feeling genuinely happy..then the next I'm…*sigh* I'm wondering where you are…and what you're doing..and…and why you haven't called." Natsuki stopped pacing and plopped down where she was standing on the floor.

Shizuru's heart skipped a beat at her friend's confession, but she forced herself to not get too happy. "I understand how that could blur the lines a bit for you." She couldn't stop a small smile from etching onto her face as she watched Natsuki roll her eyes at her comment.

"So..what do you want to do? Keep in mind Natsuki..I love you either way, I just can't pretend otherwise any longer." Shizuru leaned against the wall waiting for an answer from the blunette.

"Jesus Shizuru, why are you so sweet even when we argue?" Natsuki replied softly laying down and covering her eyes with her hands.

Shizuru chuckled quietly breaking the former tension completely. "Because it's you." She answered honestly, and sat down against the wall on the carpet. After long moments of comfortable silence Natsuki finally began to talk again.

"I think *sigh* uuuugh…Shizuruuuu you're making this so hard! *sigh* Ok. I think I want-" Just as the brunette was about to get her long awaited answer the doorbell rang. "Oi? They're back already?" Natsuki asked as she got up from her spot on the floor and walked over to the door. Shizuru shrugged and excused herself to make some tea in the kitchen while Natsuki opened the door, as she was a bit annoyed by the ironic situation. Little did she know…

From the kitchen, Shizuru noticed she hadn't heard the door close or Mikoto yet for that matter, and after putting the kettle down over the fire she walked out to the living room again. _I wonder if I can stay over for a night.. I don't think Tokiha-san would mind me staying over to talk more with Natsuki_. "Ara, Tokiha-san I-"

Instead of the busty orange haired girl Shizuru saw the devil's nephew himself..

"T-Takeda? What are you doing here? I thought you had stuff to do tonight." Natsuki stammered from by the doorway.

"Well I finished up a little early and decided to come over and surprise you babe!" The spikey haired boy reached behind his back and emerged with flowers and popcorn. Natsuki was visibly trembling and she tried to glance back before she was wrapped up in a tight embrace by her enthusiastic boyfriend. "Surprised?" He chuckled as he leaned in.

"I'd say so.." Shizuru interrupted before their lips met. Takeda whipped around showing his obvious shock.

"Shizuru?" He yelled out still holding the flowers.

"Ara ara hello, Masashi-san." She spoke venomously, reminding him that they were NOT on a first name basis.

"Err…h-hey Fujino-san what are you doing here?"

"Oh just spending time with MY Natsuki since she asked." She answered.

"I see, it's nice to have some FRIEND time I guess." He answered back with equal venom. Natsuki audibly gulped as she watched the exchange from the doorway.

"Ara yes, especially when I happen to actually HAVE TIME to SHOW UP when she calls."

"Now now guys umm.." Natsuki tried to hush the situation. Futile.

"Well her BOYFRIEND is here now. I'm sure WE'LL be okay. Arigato."

_If I weren't a lady I'd_..

"Is this true Natsuki?" She turned and aimed the question to relate to their past conversation. _Natsuki I can't wait for my answer anymore…it's now or.._

"Natsuki!" Takeda yelled impatiently. "Can you tell your friend to leave already!? Dang she acts like she owns you or something."

Natsuki turned around and shot an evil glare at her boyfriend telling him to shut up or get shut up.

"Yes or no Natsuki." Shizuru pushed again, ignoring the spikey haired boy's irritation and presence.

"I-I.." Silence.

"I see. Goodbye Natsuki." _I can't do this anymore. Its tearing me apart_. Shizuru walked passed the boy and slipped on her shoes and made her way to the door. Natsuki was dumbstruck and Shizuru could tell a million thoughts were going through her mind, but she just watched. Just stood there and watched as Shizuru grabbed her purse from the hinge of the door. _Watched_ as she turned the knob. _Watched_ as the brunette grabbed her face and gave her a kiss on the cheek. _Watched_ her walk through the door and out of her life as one lone tear fell down her cheek before the door closed and she could watch no more.

Shizuru let everything down. Her masks, her walls, her façade, and was left with nothing. Nothing to show for her undying love for the ice princess. Nothing but her tears. She ran through the rain as it continued to downpour in the dark night. Never looking back, but silently wishing. _Come after me Natsuki…Please. I'll take it all back if you stop me_. She thought as she spotted a cab, the tears being covered by the violent cover of raindrops cascading over her. The driver stopped and she opened the door, reluctantly glancing back at the dorm door. Nothing. _Goodbye…I love you_.

She stepped into the cab and shut the door, never to return. The cab sped away making a hiss sound against the wet ground, and shutting away any sound of outside.

What Shizuru didn't know was that outside in the rain… was the sound of Natsuki calling after her.

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><p><strong>AN: Hey guys! :) Okay let me answer a few questions! 1. No its not over! 2. Yes do not worry this IS SHIZNAT! ;) 3. Natsuki doesn't have a homophobic problem, she's just...hesitant (you know Natsuki!) **

**Thank you to all the Reviewers! You guys make me want to update faster! :D R&R!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello hello! Erm.. don't hate me for the small differences you might see**

** TIME FOR SOME NAONAT! :) Mwahaha PSYCH! just kidding I would never do that to you guys! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Mai hime**

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><p>She grabbed her hand and tugged her back inside, slamming the both of them onto the wall in Natsuki's apartment. Before a noise could even reach through her vocals hot wet lips joined her own in a fiery embrace. She tried to push the blunette away but with each passing second of Natsuki's alert tongue swishing around, her defiance turned to mush. Hands settled on the young biker's waist before, much to her own surprise, she was halted and her wrists were crashed onto the wall denying blissful contact.<p>

Natsuki broke the kiss and stared deep into heavily lidded crimson pools, feeling completely gone with desire Shizuru leaned in for another kiss before the blunette suddenly brought her left hand up to push her body back on the wall. She grunted and let out a pout, undeniably sexy whether she knew it or not.

"Nat-su-ki… stop playing around…" The brunette pleaded in vain.

Natsuki laughed darkly and stroked the brunette's cheek. "Where?"

Shizuru cocked her head to the side in confusion allowing her mind to clear up from its passionate haze. "W-What? What do you mean?"

"Shizuru…come back..Where are you? WHERE ARE YOU?" She yelled. Shizuru struggled out of the hold and ran towards the door in fear. She wrenched at the handle and when it didn't open she turned to see the blunette right in front of her standing with Takeda in a wedding dress. She looked to her right and saw Mai, Nao, Mikoto, Tate, Midori and all the rest of the Hime gang with happy teary eyes.

Her heart collapsed as the scene changed to the inside of the chapel, with the preacher's words echoing all around her. "Do you take this man, to have and to hold, for better or for worse in sickness and in health…till death do you part?"

Natsuki looked directly at Shizuru and grinned wickedly…. "I…"

_Noooooooo!_

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><p>Shizuru woke up in a cold sweat, realizing she had jerked up and was sitting on her bed alone, she became to calm down. *<em>Sigh* Another one huh? How many is that now…ten? Twelve? Well.. off to school. I can't miss any more days or father will start to worry again and try to set me up with another coworker's son. Perhaps I should just tell him…oneday.<em> The brunette brushed her hair and pulled on a college sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. (Yes, you read correctly!) Over the time of grief Shizuru's fashion sense had taken a drastic change. She no longer cared about her proper image as daughter of corporate business tycoon Hiro Fujino, and began trying to find and remake herself. It was difficult to let go of everything back in Fuuka including her school and the friends she managed to repair things with after the carnival…disasters, but now that she moved to Kyoto and transferred colleges she had to learn to adjust to new surroundings. After all, it had been four months since she walked out of that place broken hearted.

"Shizi! You goin' out so soon?" Her roommate questioned, poking her head up from her bed sheets groggily.

"Yes Usaka-san, and if I were you…I'd be getting up soon as well." Shizuru replied as she strapped on her comfortable sandals.

"Haha yeah right! And I told you Shizi just call me Tamiko! I know we live in Kyoto and all but…loosen up a little, I thought you wanted to rediscover yourself or whatever."

Shizuru just chuckled. "I guess old habits die hard Tamiko. But what about school? Are you planning to show up today hm? I'm sure professor Marguerite misses you _dearly_." The brunette teased as she grabbed her jacket and leaned against the door with a grin.

"Screw her!"

"Oh? I thought you did that already…"

"Oh ha-ha." Tamiko spoke dryly. "I swear something's up with that chick…she has a few knobs loose or something. But anywho, school can wait."

The brunette rolled her eyes playfully.

"Besides I gotta wait till this one wakes up before I jet. Don't want any misunderstandings with my beautiful furniture…again." She lifted the covers just a bit to show the short pink head of hair resting on the pillow in her bed.

"The usual delicious one night stand I see. You never change." Shizuru said amusingly in a faux dry tone. _Although I would love to release my frustrations in an active manner like that…if only 'she' didn't haunt my mind, heart and soul still_… The brunette fought her darker side thoughts and refocused.

"Hahaha why would I change something I love?" Tamiko laid back down.

…_Good question._

"Well bye-bye then, and please keep this one away from my tea mixes, these are the imported ones." Shizuru laughed as her roommate muttered something like 'that woman and her tea,' and stepped out and shut the door.

The brunette's thoughts casually drifted from homework, to classes, to professors and extra credit options before finally settling on the one thing she dreaded most out of all of the rest: Natsuki. _This is so frustrating! It's been four straight months! I deleted my number, got a new phone, moved, broke contact with anyone and everyone in Fuuka all because of her. Well, honestly if I'll admit it to myself it was more for her own good as well as the dope Takeda. If I stuck around, never mind the pain I'D have emotionally…physical pain would've been brought to him soon enough! Now that I'm not under the watchful eye of other clans, thanks to my father's blessing, I can do what makes me happiest…I fear for his safety and Natsuki's body if either one ran into me now fufufu!_

_What am I saying? …I'm such a big pervert now. At least nobody can hear my thoughts cause that would be_- Shizuru had unknowingly made her way to first period and what standing in the class staring blankly lost in thought.

"Ms. Fujino? Are you alright?" Professor Marguerite asked placing her hand on her shoulder. The brunette visibly shivered at the contact. _I do nooot like her…Tamiko is right, she's got that psycho vibe and my gaydar is going crazy. I can tell. Not to mention she sleeps with her students._

"Sensei I'm going to head to my seat now…" Shizuru gave her friendly smile as to inch around the crazy button the woman secretly not so secretly possessed.

The teal haired woman frowned and leaned in to whisper something to the brunette. "I called your friend today and she seems to have been busy…if she doesn't show up to class today you might have to take her _punishment_." She said pronouncing punishment in an obvious provocative way.

_Wow._

Shizuru turned around and gave a glare that would rival an angry T-rex.

"First of all that is considered a form of sexual harassment just by your words, and the fact that your hand grazed other places also does not help your case. But I'm going to let that go considering your involvement with my good friend…but I'm going to say this one time… what you do with anybody I know has nothing to do with me, so I'd very much appreciate a professional relationship." Shizuru said with a bit of proper etiquette laced with venom.

Professor Marguerite flinched and took a step back before flashing a smirk. "Feisty. Very well …you may return to your seat."

Shizuru scoffed slightly and turned her back. "Actually I'll be skipping your class Professor… Sumimasen." She spoke as she walked out. _You could say I've turned into a rebel…but you'd be wrong. I only walked out cause SHE BOTHERS ME! *Ah-hem* It still takes a lot of willpower to walk out on school like this…makes me wonder how Natsuki ever managed to keep her grades up_. Before she could catch herself she began thinking about the blunette again.

_I wonder if she cried as much as I did. Two straight months of depression…and I'm still not over her_. She thought as she made her way out to the lightly populated quad outside. Tears stabbed up to her eyes yet again. She quickly turned the corner to the student parking lot and made her way to her car to sit where she could cry freely. _Natsu-Natsuki. I miss you, I miss you so very much. I need to hear your laugh, see your adorable blush, hear you call out my name…but I fear that if you do…all I'll end up doing is come running back to you again. I just wish you could have loved me the way I love you_.

_It hurts that you didn't even come after me that night…I needed you Natsuki. I still do_. She turned on the radio to the American rap to dull her sadness a bit. After a while the brunette grew tired of crying and realized that it was too late even if she did want to go back to school. _'8:37'. Wow_.

With a dejected sigh she lead herself back to the dorms and to her room only to find that her roommate was nowhere in sight. *_Sigh* I'll make some tea then_.

Her phone cut the silence showing she is being called. "Hello? Shizuru speaking."

"Shizi! Sorry I wasn't there when you got back after school, there's this wild party with some _baad_ girls here and you know how much I love the ladies hehe!" Tamiko shouted over loud music on the other line.

"Haha Yes I do unfortunately. We share a room remember? Oh and Ms. Professor said she called you today." Shizuru grinned and leaned against the counter by her tea.

"Oh did she? Errg..maybe that's a puddle I shouldn't have stepped in." Shizuru chuckled. "Anyways, wanna swing by? Its over at Hatsumi's dorm."

The brunette considered going but resigned to her fate of hitting the books, unlike her wild friend Shizuru did actually care about her education, especially since she skipped school today and needed to make up for that. "I think I'm going to stay in tonight Ta-chan. Got some books to hit."

"Aw, okay ! Guess I'll see ya later, I got some things to hit too..if you know what-"

"Yes yes again I know what you mean! Enjoy yourself and don't drink too much…_again_." She reminded.

"Okay _MOM_!" She laughed loudly and muttered a goodbye over the music.

_One day that girl, whoo! Haha she's..somethin else_.

Just then she heard a knock at the door. _That better not be her coming to get me!_ Shizuru thought in finality as she trudged over to the door clad in only a ripped tee and long basketball shorts.

Her hair flung over to her left should as she swung the door open. "Tamiko I told you I'm NOT going to…" Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her and her body froze. Arms swiftly made their way to the brunette's upper back, and dark blue hair collided with her own chestnut locks. Her mouth opened and closed during the rather tight embrace, mind only forming one thought as she caught the warmth and the familiar scent of mint shampoo and motorcycle exhaust. …_Natsuki?_

The blunette pulled herself from the hug to look at the woman she'd been searching for for four months straight. The brunette watched as Natsuki's eyes watered over and her voice cracked, making it barely audible.

"Found you."

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><p><strong>Yayy! Hmmph..you don't think its gonna be that easy for Natsuki do you? ...WELL YOU DONT NOW! Mwahaaha! *Ah-hem* Until next time<strong> :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Ahoy maties! Finally updated! :) **

**Readers: *crickets chirping* *evil glares***

**Me: ..ahem..sorry..holidays and all you know? **

**But anyways here ya go! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mai-Hime YET!**

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><p><em>No. Not again…this has to be a dream. I'm dreaming right? Natsuki is not here, I am in my bed. Sleeping. Resting peacefully, and now I am going to wake myself up.<em>

As she thought this everything spun in circles until darkness.

Nothing.

Shizuru blinked her eyes to refocus her nerves. Upon opening them she sighed in relief when she found herself lying across her couch in the moderately-sized dorm. _So it was then_… she shook her head attempting to clear her cloudy thoughts. After several minutes of collecting herself, the brunette started to feel annoyed. The dream was not fading at all. She could remember every sense, every smell, every touch. _Why can I remember it so clearly_?

Shizuru finally sat up gripping the armrest to steady her slight dizziness. _Natsuki_.

Arms automatically brought themselves up to trembling shoulders, still seemingly feeling the ghostly touch of the blunette's soft firm chest against her own.

_What am I thinking? Even if I'm not forgetting, I cannot pretend we were ever more than friends. I have to step into reality_. Shizuru looked around the empty area, scanning the space surrounding her. She suppressed another long sigh and instead leaned deeper into the embracing silence. _This reality_..

"Shizuru, where do you keep your tea leaves!?" A familiar husky voice shouted from the other room. The brunette's eyes shot open. She tried to will her words out desperately reasoning with herself. _Was that..Ara, I must be going insane_- Just as she was about to speak a more boyish voice called out for her.

"Shizi? You there?!" The brunette let out a breath that was unconsciously being held in her throat. Shizuru smiled wistfully, feeling somewhat embarrassed about her mistake and chuckled closing her eyes once again.

"I believe I have already told Tamiko-san that unfortunately my tea does not mix well with alcohol."

"Ugh! I know that-" Her roommate grumbled as she entered the room with her arms crossed. "But your friend wants to know where they are!" Shizuru's eyes opened again as her fears resurfaced. Tamiko tapped her foot and gestured blandly at the blue haired girl looking confused in the doorway.

"Natsuki?" _It was not a dream? She's…actually here_?

Natsuki turned to face Shizuru and emeralds locked onto crimson. A jolt of surprise and fear sprung to her stomach all in all creating a painful experience. "Shizuru" Expression turning from confusion to worry, "A-Are you okay?" Natsuki came over and sat down next to Shizuru, who could only stare back blankly as the girl she once obsessed over touched a hand to her forehead. A shiver involuntarily slid down her spine at the unexpected contact and pure emotion.

Tamiko, noticing the weird amount of unspoken tension surrounding the two women, gave an awkward wave. "Okay! Heh…yeeeah I'm gonna go ahead and go sleep off the rest of my buzz.." Nothing. Not even a glance. "Um… yup I'll just leave you guys to it then! Ja ne!"

The quick echo of the door shutting filled the tense silence in the room.

Natsuki slowly brought her hand down to the brunette's cheek.

Feeling her palm against her own warming cheeks, that familiar insecure feeling seeped back into her bones. As the beautiful, now more womanly, Shizuru Fujino knew she had no warranty for being insecure of her appearance, something about the usually guarded nature of the young biker always unsettled her whenever Natsuki showed her softer side. That side of Natsuki had always shown subtly, usually in moments of protectiveness, but it became more and more noticeable after everything happened with the carnival.

Shizuru had personally found it a test of sorts to see how far she could push the blunette before she would draw that line. In truth, it kept Shizuru on edge because everytime she pushed be it with suggestive innuendos, or all out embraces, the only thing that grew was the blunette's tolerance. The brunette had even resorted to surprising Natsuki in the bathroom as she was inspecting her still _very naked_ side. After the initial shock Shizuru was dumbfounded to witness Natsuki teasing her! Things were definitely looking up…until she got that Takeda that is..

"Shizuru." Her name being said softly brought her out of her memories. The hand dropped down to grab her own as it sat on her lap. "I missed you."

_Coldness_. Now that the shock has faded, all Shizuru felt was coldness seeping through her veins.

"Natsuki shouldn't have." The brunette said as she dragged her hand from Natsuki's grasp.

The blunette looked perplexed at the reaction from her friend. She had never gotten that reaction from Shizuru, even when they fought at the carnival and she busted in through the school to find Shizuru sitting behind her desk, behind that mask always lied undeniable affection.

"Sh-Shizuru I don't understand…" Natsuki said, now watching the brunette scoot to the other end of the sofa farthest from her.

"Why are you here Natsuki?" Shizuru asked as coldly as she could. _She had no right to miss me…I went through so much for her, because of her, after her_…

"Because you're the most important person to me! Why did you leave? We could have talked about whatever happened. I went to your apartment a million times asking your neighbors if they'd seen or heard of you, questioned your scumbag landlord which earned me a restraining order by the way…heck I even went to your parent's house a few times before I got kicked out!" Natsuki yelled furiously.

Shizuru bit her lip forcing her face to stay neutral and uncaring during the sudden outburst. God knows all she wanted to do was forgive and forget, just to keep Natsuki in her life, _forever_. But that is not the way this is going to go this time.

"Natsuki leave. Leave and pretend you never found me. I do not want you here." Shizuru said as she stood and walked towards the door to show Natsuki the way out. Only before her hand made contact with the door, her wrist was grabbed forcefully and turned back around to face Natsuki.

"Don't lie to me. You can't hide behind that mask of yours when I'm around." The blunette replied as she closed in on the brunette glaring fearlessly into crimson orbs. "Why dangit!? Why did you leave everyone? Why did you leave Fuuka? You even changed your number! Why Shizuru? Why did you leave me!" Shizuru couldn't stop her eyes from watering as she saw tears slid mercilessly down the biker's smooth frowning face. _Natsuki is shaking_.

She squeezed her shorts fabric, suppressing the need to take all of her Natsuki's pain away. _No. Because then, who would take all of mine away? This is a no win situation. Either way I end up hurt…how is this fair? And why do I feel so selfish? It's time I take care of me_. Shizuru sighed and gathered her bearings before returning to her heartless expression. "Because I still love you."

Natsuki's face softened with relief as she released her grip and began to wipe her tears. "Then.."

"But," The brunette interrupted. " I will not return to Fuuka Natsuki, and you cannot stay."

Anger flashed the blunette girl's face, which quickly turned to hurt. "…why?" Her voice cracked as her head slumped below her shoulders.

Shizuru continued. "Because don't you see Natsuki? This was not meant to be. Natsuki herself said so when she rejected my feelings for her..twice. I can see now that the best thing for us both is a clean break." She swallowed and forced herself to finish. " So you and Takeda can be happy. I'm sure he'll like tha-"

Before she could finish she first felt the sting on both her cheeks form hands slapping onto them so quickly. Then as she shifted her gaze to meet and question emerald orbs she was again interrupted by soft wet lips latched harshly onto her own. Shizuru felt her mask shatter as the moment of bliss continued rather fast, forcing her lips apart to make room for Natsuki's eager tongue to explore and dominate. Trying and failing, the brunette let out a deep moan and returned the kiss with equal intensity.

And intense it was.

She opened her eyes slightly and caught the blush on the blunette's cheeks along with the focused frown on her eyebrows. _This feels…a little…performed? No. Practiced? No_.. The brunette shivered as she felt unsure hands creep up her sides. Then it struck her. Realization. _Forced_?

Shizuru broke free from the kiss and slapped the blunette with all the strength she could muster, forcing Natsuki back a couple of steps.

"Shizuru? What the he-" Natsuki stopped as she saw tears crashing like the tide down her best friend's face.

"You think this was all you had to do? Just show up here and kiss me and tell me you miss me!?" Shizuru shouted. Natsuki stood there shocked and holding her slight reddened cheek, she never heard her Shizuru yell so scornfully at her before.

"No Sh-Shiz I-"

"No Natsuki! This is not like back then! You can't just kiss me to snap me out of it all this time! I can't-"

Her voice just cracked.

Shizuru Fujino's voice just cracked.

"I can't do this with you Natsuki, go." Shizuru grabbed the still stoic teen and opened the door pushing her out into the hall of the dorm in one swift motion with ease, reminding Natsuki of her fighting skill.

"Matte! Shizuru! I love-"

"Goodbye Natsuki…again." She slammed the door and waiting several minutes until she heard fleeting footsteps going down the hall.

The brunette turned around only to find her roommate looking back at her with a caring expression. Tamiko walked slowly over and wrapped Shizuru in her arms.

The last string broke and Shizuru burst into tears, crying loudly into Tamiko's chest as she slunked to the floor bringing her down as well.

After a while, the cries calmed and she felt herself being laid into her bed and her door shutting softly.

Shizuru turned over under the sheets and closed her eyes, hoping sleep would help her escape _this reality_.

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><p><strong>AN- ooh...she slapped her! I wonder if its over... Yay! For once I didn't leave you with a cliffhanger! :) **

**Or did I...**


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